Monday, December 15, 2008

What the hell is happening

If you know anything about me you know I'm very bah humbug when it comes to chirstmas. even thanksgiving. I've been a cold hearted scrooge since 7th grade. Thats when my mom actually asked me if I wanted to do a chrsitmas tree, but told me i'd have to help take it down. I was like "hell no why would I want to do more work??" It's all cheery and merry when you're putting the damn thing up but its a bitch to clean up post-holiday. That's when i turned away. Not only from the trees but from the whole holiday season. I realized it's a bunch of stress! It's a bunch of hustle and bustle and traffic and shopping hysteria and its all about getting what gifts you want and putting lights up and santa claus. It's bullshit. so i pretty much shunned all christmas decorations, carollers, "family togetherness"and christmas joy from that time on.
But this year it's different.
I'm finding myself being drawn back into the christmas spirit.

I really think it has something to do with a new relationship i'm in. I haven't had a boyfriend in like 5 years, so i've grown very independent and maybe hard hearted in the time since then.
But I've just been so happy lately! I'm feelin the love!
It's been a long time since i've cared for someone like this.. its bringing me back to what Xmas is about. well, i suppose its about jesus. but maybe about caring for people too? Perhaps I am getting this confused with valentines day... haha but you know what i mean.
I've been getting pulled in by all the chrsitmassy stuff.. I've been stopping to admire lights and decorations in downtown. I've looked out my window in awe at the snow. I've experienced being warm and cozy with that someone on a chilly night. There's just something magical about this time of year and im finally seeing it again after seven years.
I'm feeling like this blog has gone quite mushy and i do not like that..I'm tempted to throw in a few more expletives to maybe balance it out. But just know im really warming up to this whole holiday spirit thing. I'm not completely gung ho, like, i still think carolling is hella gay and i'll turn them away if they try to sing to me..
Who knows maybe i'll be back to my old ways next year. Maybe i'll snap out of this and be back to normal before chrsitmas even gets here. But for now i've decided i'm not going to fight it.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Music updates

This is going to be short and choppy because I have class in 15 minutes.

BUT! I'm surfing around and theres all this fabulous music news and I have to give my two cents! Grammy nominations were just released and guess who's leading the pack??? My baby daddy WAYNE with 8. Siiiick. He totoally deserves it. Tha Carter III is epic. Neyo, Jay Z and Kanye also got their recognition. I got my news off of PerezHilton.com and he's all up in arms that Katy Perry only got one nom. who cares? She didnt do anything that great. No grammy for you katy perry! And it's hard for me to saythis for sure, cuz the list on all the official nominations is like 4 pages long...but I'm pretty sure I noticed a name missing.......why none other than that prom-loving poodle Taylor Swift! buahahahahhaha.

Next order of business. Blender magazine is the shit. have you ever actually read it? it's AWESOME. its fullof satire, pop culture, all kinds of crazy music info, sex..its really well done and its definitely a different style from other music mags, like rolling stone. I think its way better. Anyway, they came out with their top 33 (?) albums of 2008. I found the list and it would been much better if they started with 33 and counted down to one but off of perezhilton it starts at #1. A little anti climactic. but im not going to sit here and type it all out backwards just for the sake of a little suspense. guess who's #1....


1. Lil' Wayne, Tha Carter III
2. Girl Talk, Feed The Animals
3. TV On The Radio, Dear Science
4. Metallica, Death Magnetic
5. Hot Chip, Made In The Dark
6. Robyn, Robyn
7. Of Montreal, Skeletal Lamping
8. Randy Newman, Harps & Angels
9. Vampire Weekend, Vampire Weekend
10. Fall Out Boy, Folie A Deux
11. Death Cab For Cutie, Narrow Stairs
12. My Morning Jacket, Evil Urges
13. Al Green, Lay It Down
14. Jenny Lewis, Acid Tongue
15. Bon Iver, For Emma, Forever Ago
16. Be Your Own Pet, Get Awkward
17. Conor Oberst, Conor Oberst
18. Ponytail, Ice Cream Spiritual
19. Katy Perry, One Of The Boys
20. Wale, Mixtape About Nothing
21. Erykah Badu, New Amerykah Part I: Fourth World War
22. Coldplay, Viva La Vida
23. The Cool Kids, Bake Sale
24. The Roots, Rising Down
25. Santogold, Santogold
26. Usher, Here I Stand
27. Mariah Carey, E=MC2
28. Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks, Real Emotional Trash
29. Raphael Saadiq, The Way I See It
30. Young Jeezy, The Recession
31. Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds, Dig, Lazarus, Dig!!!
32. Taylor Swift, Fearless
33. Hayes Carll, Trouble In Mind




and as you can see, there quite a bit of obscure music thats not super mainstream..just pointing that out that they're looking at everything. and they're not just top 40 oriented. so...yeah.


last note, i know im super behind on this but i just saw the Mrs Officer video last night for the first time and wayne is freaking sexy as hell. So hot.

Monday, November 24, 2008

AMAs- a quick overview

The AMAs were on last night. They're not as epic as the VMAs, but they usually feature more relevant stuff then the Grammys. I watched almost all three hous worth so here's a quickie overview.

Taylor Swift- Her and Joe Jonas were both there and both performed. His wasn't anything about her but hers was about him and it was sufficiently awkward. (They just broke up FYI) She was the only one who lipsynched so..great job taylor. I do not like you. Granted, from what i hear, joe jonas is a slime ball and i should be on your side..but i just cannot get past your damn poodle hair and prom dresses. for gods sake. your hair doesn even look that good curly. wear it straight for once in your life. You always look like your heading to your junior prom.

Kanye- won the two he was nominated for. The first acceptance spech was what we expected..rambling..touch of arrogance. The second win, he beat wayne, and he gave his award to wayne! for his acceptance, he's like, I gotta give this award to wayne. last year i didnt get it but it was my year, this year was wayne's, so i gotta give it to him" WOW. when he doesnt get the awards he throws tantrums and when he gets them..he gives them away?

Miley- it was her 16th b day! and she rocked it out for her performance. freakin love her.

Beyonce- I HATE "If i were a boy" its sooooo dramatic. but, put a ring on it?? BOMB. ITs so upbeat and catchy..thats what she performed and she did the same crazy-ass hip moves she does in the vid anit was aMAZing. best performance of the night by my standards. pretty soon im gonna pull that video up on youtube in my room and close the blinds and master those moves.

Rihanna- She is my fashion icon but i was NOT feeling it tonight. Crazy baby doll/tablecloth dress on the red carpet and for her performance...a rhinestoned eyepatch. whaaat.

Nicole Scherzinger-I finally realized. Here's my epiphany- Nicole Scherzinger is the poor man's Kim Kardashinan.

Jordin Sparks- looked gorgeous. she is just glowing, all the time.

Annie Lennox- soo legendary. she did a really intimate performance and got a big ol important award..which i forgot what it was ofically named.

AANd Chris Breezy!- FINALLY this boy gets some recognition! He won some categories and took home the bigest one of the night, artist of the year? (i believe, i didnt take notes). After the VMAs rape, this was well deservd!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

T-Pain has worn out his welcome.

I can't believe I've gone this long at SPU without an angry ranting blog.

But anyways, i just got back ffrom a quickie 4 day visit to cali to see my dad,it was wonderful!

So yesterday, while at the Long Beach airport going thru security, I was wearing my T-WAYNE tank. One of the TSA guys asked me what it meant..he didnt know what it was or if it was for real (that they were really a "group" or something..)but I saw this other guy, maybe hispanic looking..in my head i was like, this guy knows what im talking about..and he asked me more about it and i just started talking about how wayne's done whole album collaborations before, like with Juelz Santana, "Cant feel my face" deal. anywhoo. The guy's like, yeah, but do you realy like T pain?

I'm like, well, not extremely, its more bout wayne. which is true. And this got me thinking, who REALLY likes t pain? like, a hardcore t pain fan. I dont think these such people exist. I don't know, he seemed fun at first..2007 belonged to T pain. no question. he probably had 12 major hits that got significant if not excessive radio play. But, if you know nothing about music, T pain is all about the collaborations. I dont think he's done a single song by himself. well, on his CDs obviosly, but all his 27 something radio hits, ALL collaborations. yung joc, akon, fabolous, kanye, wayne, dj khalid, ludacris..list goes on. Even still now with all his overexposire, if you want a hit, you know the question you first ask: "...can we get t pain?" you get it.

But! heres the thing, take away whatever name it is that T pain is collaborating with..and no one gives a shit about t pain! All he sings about its drinks (dranks)! or occasionally girls. its ridiculous. its NOTHING of substance. He's a fun loving party drank kind of guy and because of that image he brings a great energy to his collabo songs. but its getting old. t pain is a one trick pony! the autotune! ...heres my thesis, T pain has solidified that idea that the auto-tune is to the first ten years of 2000 what the synth was to the 80s. Its official. it started off slow with cher and her "believe" song with those effects..a few other people dabbled, b ut now it's a full blown era of auto tune. Kanye just did his whole "808s and Heartbreak" Cd in autotune, Britney did it hella in her last two albums, Blackout and Circus..and the last probably 5 big relased Wayne songs have it. It's cool...but its getting old. thats all im saying.

Actually, what I was trying to say was that T-Pain has worn out his welcome and nobody really likes him.

Friday, October 10, 2008

You know you go to SPU when...

This is a collaborative effort of Eva and I. And it's all factual. Everything on here has either specifically happened, or happens on a regular basis.

You know you go to SPU when...
-you know three or more people who wear fanny packs

-30% of the girls on your floor swing dance. regulaly.

-you're taken off-guard when you see one of the 4 black students roaming campus

-more people wear UW sweatshirts

-you dress up to go to Gwinn

-"Thats a penis on the clock tower?? EW!!"

-the most popular kids are the ones on hall counsel

-you don't know who Snoop Dogg is

-there are more republicans than democrats

-you write "fuck" on your personal hall white board, come back an hour later and it says "fiddlesticks"

-you've parked your car in moyer spot 3 and suffered the consequences

-the cool guys are the ones giving purity talks

-at least 3 people on your flor brought Veggie Tales movies or CDs

-you're excitd to get an engagement ring and you're only a freshman

-you know who Phil-Dog is

-you're excited to "engage the culture" but rarely step foot off campus

-there's outrage over a planned parenthood ad in the school paper

-there are more than 3 Beths on your floor

-PerezHilton.com is blocked from all campus computers because of adult content

-going to group is the most social part of your week

-the best way to talk to the opposite sex: "Man can you believe all the HW from our scriptures class??

-you're REQUIRED to take a scriptures class

-the juciest gossip is about what Pastor Mark Driscol said on Sunday

-your UNIVERSITY won't allow a gay straight alliance club

-Playboy is illegal contraban anywhere on campus

-in the event of a rare informational sex-forum, girls and boys must be separated

-a common question at these forums:"Can a girl get pregnant if she doesnt have an orgasm?"

-The on-campus keggers involved drinking a lot of rootbeer

-you go to soccer games instead of football games

-you're not sure if your school even does anything for homecoming

-your school arranges a speed-dating event to help you find a mate

-Profs dont talk much about that liberal evolution theory

-you think sexuality is a sin

-you think Spirit 105.3 has the best morning show

-you're excited to have 4 boys in your class

-at dances, girls dance separately from the boys, who are dancing stupidly in a cirlce with eachother

-you're offended by this list

Saturday, October 4, 2008

A Peace Offering! (last blog, cont.)

Update! After initially feeling fearful and suspicious of who this mystery girl was..I started to feel a bit guilty. I don't want to make enemies but I seem to go out of my way to do so. And i dont want to be like that so assuming this person will see my board again, I wrote a note to her.
Something like, "Yes, I did it and im sorry. I shouldnt have. But youve got to understand my frustration, it happens almost every day! BUT im sorry. I wont be doing it again. "
The next night, Eva and I went to blockbuster to rent Sex and the City. It was dark and rainy, around 7 and we drive back and park. No one in my spot! Amazing! We walk down the parking aisle to reach the stairs back down the the dorm and i see it! Lying face up in one of the nearby spaces, my SIGN! EEE!
I take that as a sign this girl read my message, perhaps understood..and gave a peace offering! Or at least, a trusted "no further maliciousness" offering. Yay!
When I got back to the room I erased the last message and wrote "thanks :) again, im sorry"
Finally some sort of resolution and happy ending for an SPU saga. And i learned a lesson! Woo

Friday, October 3, 2008

making enemies 101

Okay so not even a week into SPU dorm life I've already created drama. And I'm not one to create drama! Make no mistake, I talk shit, but that shit doesn't get out. It's just my own grumblings to vent frustrations.
To give some background on this story, you must know the parking issues I endured all of last year. I pay 55$ a quarter to park my car in the resident ( read: conveniant) parking lot closest to the dorm. My spot was one of the best and bitches were always stealing it! There are signs that say, "RESIDENT LOT". The Commuter lot is two levels up, but who wants to walk down stairs to get to their class?? So park in a reserved space. And by the way, all the spaces on this reserved, resident level have numbers painted on them. Any dumbass could reason that if a spot has a number painted on it, it's probably ALOTTED to someone. But no, every time I'd leave my spot, come back, there'd be a car there. Up to 5 times a week. And I'm not gonna continue the cycle and park in someone else's reserved spot, so i go allthe way up to commuter parking and walk down.
So the year gets off to a bad start and of course, there's someone in my spot after I'm gone for two hours. I'm enraged. I knew this would happen over the summer so i bought car paint to write on their window. I wrote a little sum sum on their window and left a naughty note that may have had expletives. Next, in hysterics, I call the safety and security dept. and demand to talk to whoever is in charge. I'd already gotten terribye lost and stranded that day, so I was emotionally volatile and broke down in tears while talking/venting to the parking person. SOMETHING NEEDS TO BE DONE. I AM BEING IGNORED!!!.
I was told that the guy who was supposed to paint "RESERVED" on each space to make it more obvious DIED over the summer. M response, "Thats sad but...well, theres other people in this world who do painting.." They can only resolve to move me to a less popular spot. I accept.
Later, same day, I Go to work, return, planning on parking in my new, less popular spot, and yes! a foreign car!! AHHH I lose it and again write a nasty note, and scribble lines on the car's window.
Next day, I get an email from the safety and security guy I talked to before, wishing to meet with me to disuss my parking issues. We meet, I tell him last years saga and the most recent issues, and he seems to be on my side. He asks me if i remember what kind of car it was that was parked in my original spot. I didnt remember the make/model, all i recalled for sure that it was teal. And he looks at me weird and he's like, yes, it was. They reported a note..
And I confess.
"And..anything else...?
"...and i wrote a message on their car with car paint.."
He's cool about it, Like, he understands my frustration but tells me i cant be doing that. okay. SO i have to write a release for them, stating what i did and issuing an apology. I do. and i'll be meeting with my RLC about it soon.
BUT! soo not the end of the story!
My ex-roomie amber bought me a sign that said, "NO PARKING" big, bold, red. cant miss it sign. i put it up on the wall in front of my new spot the next day. left for work. come back. SIGN IS GONE. Bitch!
I'm angry of course! That was a gift! I put it up 6 hours ago. I look around at the other cars in their windows for my sign...no luck.
I go back to the room, upset, and make a crucial mistake.
On my whiteboard outside my room, I write, "Some bitch stole my parking sign!"
No harm right? I just want people to know why i may be grumpy.
I go eat, library, come back into the room. Say hi to Eva, my roommate, and leave the room.
Then! I see the whiteboard. Under my message about someone stealing my sign, i read: Yeah, that was me. Thanks for vandalizing my car" what!!
Shit son. So that makes me believe it was someone on my own dorm floor! And they now know who i am! They know I'M the one who left a nasty note and paint (washable!) on their car. They know where I sleep! I show Eva and she's like shoot, i'm locking the door all the time now!
So I'm kind of frazzled! Really on guard, looking around like it could be anyone. It could be the girl I'm brushing my teeth next to. Shit I dont even want anyone to SEE me brushing my teeth now cuz they know which shower caddy in the bathroom is mine. When I'm not around they're probably scrubbing the toilets with my toothbrush.
So thats the terribly long story. I gave myself away... i HATE that they know who I am, but I dont know who they are! I keep thinking I'll have this horror movie moment, like pop into one of the girl rooms to say hi and chat, sit down..and I'll see it. My stolen sign poking out from under the bed. In my head i'll be like OMG its HER! Get out NOW!

Friday, September 26, 2008

its happening

I'm going back to SPU. I am excited for a change of scenery..but be warned: Expect my forthcoming blogs to be angry ones. Cuz, you know.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Shoulda Woulda Coulda

If you're familiar with Dlisted.com, you know that michael k. has a feature called "dumb bitch of the day". and today, i hereby nominate myself.

You see, I say the things i shouldnt say and dont say the things i should say. I was in factoria for maybe 2 hours today and missed coutless opportunities to say the right things.

Number one, I was at Kits camera (why can't they just do what i need them to do??) and i'm not looking too polished. No make up except for this bright lipstick..and my fedora hat on to cover my crazy hair. And theres these two midle aged-looking, italian guys there. One of them liked my hat and he told me so.I tanked him, left the store and got into my car. The guys walked towards their BMW which was parked beside me, and the better looking one asks me out to lunch. I told him i was running errands and busy that afternoon, which was true. But common! Live a little! God I am so boring. This situation could have been major sugar daddy potential. At the very least I could have gotten a free lunch. So in short I said no. I should have said YES!

Number two- I went to eat then, BY MYSELF. I'm very independent. I insist on shopping by myself but I'm very uncomfortable eating by myself. If i'm out and about that is. I would have liked to find a small table in the corner, but seating was limited so I had to take a table by this group of four mexican guys (presumably my age or a bit older). As I'd get up to get food or more napkins or a refill, I had to pass their table every time and EVERY time, all four of them would be obnoxiously staring at me. Even if i was to the side of them, all four of their faces would be turned, looking my way. I already felt self concious enough, eating by myself and all, so by the 3rd time I had to see them all gawking at me, I got really mad and decided that as I was returning to my seat, I was gonna walk by them and stop and be like, do you wanna take a picture of me or what?? So maybe they'd realize their rude attention was not appreciated. But shoulda woulda coulda!! By the time I walked back to my seat they'd left! A relief..but damn it. I should have told them off earlier!

And three, as im leaving, I run into this stupid girl from high school that also went to my beauty school, Shoshana. And she's tagging along with her even more socially-retarded friend Mai. or Maya or however you say her damn name. She went to high school with me too. Even though I think i'm all incognito with my hat, it seems to attract attention instead of divert it and they see me. I give the " Oh heeyyyy!" and compliment her hair. I wish I wouldnt have though. She's hella stupid and doesnt even say thank you, just that she needs to rush off to work cuz she starts in 2 minutes. " I work at REGIS now!!, I get THRITY DOLLARS for my haircuts!" I'm walking away as she says this and I give the "woo hoo" hands with a slight eye roll and get back to my car. Who the hell does that? You see someone you used to know and they compliment you and you dont say thank you and throw out a random brag about how much money you make? Thats about as socially retarded as it gets. So as im driving home still so mad about all these situations i am botching, I realize what I should have said! Rewind:

" I work at REGIS now!!, I get THRITY DOLLARS for my haircuts!"
Me- "WOW! How does it feel to be underqualified??"

Girl! I know where you went to beauty school! I went there too, remember? A fresh bellevue beauty school graduate is in no way qualified to ask 30 dollars for their haircuts and even more for color. That is actually even more dangerous since BBS graduates are taught so little about color. So you're charging 30 dollars for your haircuts. Thats good for you. Good, lucky, fortunate..but lucky and fortunate do not equal qualified.

God why can't I think of these things in the moment.

Monday, September 8, 2008

VMAs 2008: Britney raped, Chris Brown robbed

First let me get this out of the way: Britney was not raped, SHE raped. She raped the VMAs. Or perhaps I should say the VMA voting academy raped us, the viewers. And definitely Chris Brown. Okay well that was my little Jordin Sparks quickie outburst..lets go over the whole thing.
The show kicked off with a Britney-opener for the second year in a row..but she wasn’t performing, she was acting in a little skit with Jonah Hill. Now we know girl can’t act but I’ll admit it was slightly cute. It wasn’t that long of a skit before it went to the real opening performance, Rihanna. I say real meaning that a skit is not a real way to open the VMAs, not in the sense that her performance was a REAL good performance. Cuz it wasn’t. Be honest. I’d say average. Now I like the song and LOVE the whole music video vibe. Kinda creepy, dark..maybe Rihanna’s “Thriller”, if you will. And I’d be lying if I said I’m not influenced by her style. Not uber feminine..slightly masculine and rock and gritty and otherwise hella sick. But the performance was just okay for me dawg.
The host this year was Russel Brand, some British comedian that virtually no one in America was familiar with, but he did a good job with it. The comedy was scandalous, a bit obscene and hilarious. I loved his bit on that Levi guy that’s knocked up Bristol Palin. And he ragged a bit on the Jonas Brothers about their purity rings. It was funny..and all in good fun! ( more on that subject later..)
Now, it was around Brand’s opening bit that viewers were able to see better shots of the audience and venue. It was in Hollywood this year, at Paramount studios..and, well, that’s no Radio City Music Hall. Judging by the size of the audience, it looked like this shit was filmed at Nickelodeon studios. Like maybe 5000 people. This is not right! Think about some of the memorable VMA performances..The Real Slim Shady performance by Eminem..all those slim shady look-a-likes storming in filling the place. That could NEVER have happened at this venue. My gay university’s gym can hold more people. And! Did you see the audience?? Ah, I am getting ahead of myself; Perhaps the demographics of the audience hadn’t been made obvious by this early point but I’ll get there.
First Award: Best Female Video. And you know! I said Britney had NO business being nominated for this category. Or any that she was nominated in..but she won. I was certain Mariah would get it. Not that I like Mariah. This is so weird. Cuz I love Britney and despise Mariah but Mariah deserved it and Britney didn’t. I am happy for her, cuz she looked DAMN good and her speech was concise and sweet. Score points for Britney, but I don’t believe the award or nominations were warranted.
Cut to the Jo Bros performance..the venue couldn’t even accommodate them so they’re out on the street corner singing on the some steps. Of course its just SO cheesy and underbudget that you know they’re gonna break out and get loud at some point..and they did. Went to some outdoor stage and then this SWARM of teen/tween girls comes running out towards them. Performance: eh
Best Male Video: Chris Brown- With You. I think if it was for Forever, it woulda been deserved. But it wasn’t and With You wasn’t as good as Forever and therefore lil wayne deserved this one for Lollipop cuz that video is sick.
Theres a mini Katy Perry performance in the equivalent of a 12 x 12 pen with one side open in the actual studio. I guess that’s all they can fit.
Michael Phelps comes out to introduce Wayne’s performance. I was almost blown away that they didn’t save him till the very end of the show cuz common, he’s this year’s biggest star. And they got him as the first big performance! Common, draw it out a little, milk it, tease us a little. I think that was a stupid decision on the producers’ part. Okay so performance! It opened with Leona Lewis and then Wayne came out, he did “dontgetit” (last track off the Carter III), a milli and got money with t pain. And he pulled out his sexy ass dance moves. Ahh. Me and Rachel got up off the couch and practically had our heads pressed up against the TV screen. Great performance! But get this. Wayne got off the stage and into the audienceat one point..and people are sittin down. If he woulda came into the audience at SummerJam, he woulda been mauled and molested! Fools! This is a concert! This is the VMAs! This is the #1 artist right now; he sold over a million records his first week of release. STAND UP! God damn! The audience was so unreceptive. You know why?? Because is was all the middle aged producers who don’t know( or give a) shit about MTV or this music. Look back at any VMA performance and what’s happening at the base on the stages?? Young, excited, crazy fans screaming and waving their hands and singing along! At the bottom of the stage this year: Middle aged, no named producers. Sitting down. And it wasn’t just for Wayne, it was all performances. No enthusiasm. No youth. No respect. The only excitement I saw was when the camera cut to Kobe and he was getting down. God bless you Kobe.
Best Dancing in a Video: Pussycat Dolls for “When I grow up”. Whores. They’re worthless. The dancing in Forever is sick. Chris Brown is making a real name for himself and is probably one of the top 3 dance icons of this decade. He’s changing the way we see dance! And the PCD? That’s dancing? In that video? I say no. In no way are they comparable to Chris Brown in terms of dance credibility or talent.. or anything! Chris Brown was ROBBED. PS go on YouYube and search for when Lindsay Lohan and Ciara presented this award (Best dancing) They’re standing in the stands and you get a great view of those foagies in the audience. Wtf mate, who ARE these middle-agers?? It’s a bunch of old people! Go search it right now, it’s unreal.
So next Demi Moore comes out on this years’ VMAs most exciting theatric effect: the turning staircase. Seriously. That was the biggest thing they had. She gets to the bottom and she doesn’t have a mic. You know she was pushed out there like “Go!” by one of the handlers or producers. Of course she’s nervous and is just gonna do what they say, so she goes! Fools! Get it together and make sure you’re ready for what you’re supposed to be doing before you send poor Demi out there to be left high and dry without a mic for 2.6 seconds. ( She was handed one).
Camera goes to yet another better accommodating location to shoot Paramore’s performance of Misery Business. They did great. I understand that song to be very challenging vocally, and would expect it to be a little sub-par live, cuz it’s a hard song! But girl brought it! She sounded AWESOME live. Just superb. Dare I say, better then the radio cut. And that NEVER happens.
Best Rock Video: Lincoln Park for “Shadow of the Day” Give me a break. That shit’s played on Warm 106.9! That’s an easy listening station for all you out-of-towners. Not that I give a rats ass about the best rock video, but that’s blasphemy. Foo Fighters shoulda won for Pretender.
Pink performed—you guessed it!—outside! No room for her in that damn studio! Her dress was matronly but her hair was BOMB. Cut and color. Ice Blond, practically white but not quite..and I must say the cut…. reminded me of…my cut! I could probably rock that do today if I put some major pomade and hairspray in there. I give her the award for flyest hair at the VMAs cuz that shit was fierce.
During the next commercial break there was a trivia question that was pitifully wrong! It said Katy Perry Just performed Like a Virgin, but other then that, how many years has it been since we’ve heard that song live on a VMA stage? They said the answer was 14 years but that’s false! Anyone remember the Britney/Madonna kiss of VMAs 03??? Helllooooooo what song were they singing?? LIKE A VIRGIN. Dumbass producers don’t know SHIT
The promo ads boasted of a performance by the Ting Tings..and once back form the commercial, we got that performace. Broadcasted from the 12x12 pen, viewers got a 20 second snippet of shut up and let me go. THAT was the performance. And for the artists performing from the pen, they weren’t even performing to an audience. There were foagies behind them but the artists just face a camera. No screaming fans to cheer you on—nothing.!
Next was the Best Hip Hop video. Presented by, who else? Slipknot. What the fuck. That makes about as much sense as having Wayne present the best country album. Producers! Get a clue from the clue bag!! A note to those Slipknot fools: It’s not Halloween! Were you neglected as children that you now feel the need to draw negative attention to yourselves by wearing freaky and morbid costumes and masks?? See a therapist. Anyhoo. The winner is… Weezy f!
(aka lil wayne if you’re a producer)
Jordin Sparks and John Legend get up there and Jordin feels compelled to speak up on behalf of the Jonas Brothers and purity ring supporters far and wide. I didn’t mention it but between acts and awards, Russel Brand and really been giving the Jo Bros a hard time about those rings.. he just won’t let it go. And it’s hilarious. So Jordin diverts from the telepromper for a nanosecond and is like, I just wanna say there’s nothing wrong with purity rings because not everyone wants to be a slut. Okay! Well. Though I saw nothing wrong with the comedy bits about it, props to Jordin for being able to stand up and say something that might not be the most popular thing to say at MTV. Second least popular thing only behind support for John McCain.
T.I. performs. It was pretty good. Exit T.I. Enter Rihanna, looking sick as hell yet again. Enter T.I.P. and they sing their new song together. Rihanna getting her swagger on, major! Love it though.
Christina debuts her new image with a performance. She’s reinvented herself yet again, as she always does for each album. So it’s out with the baby-jane, pinup girl of the 40s, in with…catwoman? I don’t know. She was wearing a mask when she opened the performance with a remix of genie in a bottle. Then she broke out into her newest single. Most notable moment: “Sometimes I’m a superBITCH” and she grabs he crotch Jacko-style. LOVE.
Best New Artist: Tokio Hotel. Who? Miley shoulda won. She dominates.
Best Pop Video: Britney. Ahh mixed feelings yet again! I was rooting for the Jo Bros. But they left the VMAs empty handed L
Kid Rock performs. “All Summer Long”. Wayne joins him, looking sexy as hell in his vest and red pants and shoes and cute little hat!! He was fashion. At the end he bowed to Kid. That was cool, that’s he’s able to humble himself and show his respects. Cuz you know the audience ain’t showin no love.
And finally-the most coveted moonman of the night, Video of the Year. This is like, the quintessential video representing ‘08. Like 20 years from now you’ll look back and think of the anthem and most famous and sick video of 2008..this one should immediately come to mind. I had my money on Chris Brown cuz Forever gets hella play and the video is AWESOME. Visually just awesome and great dancing of course as I mentioned before. And Kobe Bryant presents the award to…..Britney Spears.
I was beyond flabbergasted. K, talk to the youth of America about what song/video was indispensible to 2008 and 75% of them could not tell you the name of that song. Let alone tell you what the video is like. VIDEO OF THE YEAR?? That video was shot at the height of her madness. She still wasn’t well and wasn’t all there and for sure wasn’t giving it her all. It was laughed at! There was shit going around the internet showing how they had to digitally downsize her torso to make her look skinnier. It was a joke. Not as bad as the Gimme More video but it was not video of the year caliper by any means. SO as she’s getting up there, the shot cuts to Chris Brown, who perhaps people around him are saying shit to him cuz he’s just burying his head in his hands! Not like Kanye-pompous-style, but smiling kinda like, no way man WHAt just happened! YOU JUST GOT RAPED that’s what happened. Or robbed for the sensitive. Robbed on two fronts: Best Dance and Video of the Year. It’s despicable and I have a conspiracy theory. More on that later..
So who closes the show? None other that poor dark skinned Kanye who vowed never to return to MTV after being shut out of all categories he was nominated in last year, because of his skin color, of course. Also he bitched about only performing in one of the Palms suites last year and not the mainstage. God Almighty! A Palms suite sounds luxe compared to this years’ show! Imagine if they put Kanye in the 12x12 pen ! Then he’d have something to shout about. She he closed the show with a good performance.
Conspiracy theory and closing notes: Who decides the winners of the VMAs anyway?? Is what I was asking myself at the end of the show, bewildered beyond belief as Britney just swept the VMAs taking all three categories she was nominated in. I tried to look online but to no avail..but then I saw a blurb from Perez Hilton. He said something about a VMA voting academy, which he is a part of! And he voted for Britney!
SO apparently there’s a panel of people, I have no idea how many or how qualified, who sit and cast their votes for the winner. Now I’d think these people would be impartial enough to look at the facts, or at least the video ALONE to correctly decide who is most deserving. I think this blog would prove me as a good candidate for this job because I am being objective as hell. I’m looking at FACTS and not letting my own personal OPINIONS interfere. Get it? Look back, I love Rihanna’s style and the disturbia video and image but I was able to recognize when her performance was lackluster. And Britney! She’s gotta be one of my favorite artists/icons of all time and I Love her to death but that is no matter. Look at the facts, that video was NOT the best, most loved video of 2008.
The people on the panel need to be objective but they weren’t. Perez said he voted for Brit and “mission accomplished”. The mission?? Boosting up Britney for a real comeback. This isn’t a charity case!! Don’t vote for who you feel sorry for! Don’t vote for her because you’re rooting for her to regain her throne! You’re supposed to vote for the best and they didn’t. Corruption. Plain and simple.
VMAs 2007 rocked it. VMAs 2008 was a joke. I was dazed and confused throughout the whole show from the size of the venue to the audience to the sheer unprofessionalism of the producers to the winners! It was all unreal! Is this the VMAs?? MTV you dropped the ball this year! GO back to Vegas or Radio City Music Hall. And let us never speak of this again.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Acheived Posh Status?

This past weekend I recieved two compliments. Well, maybe technically it's one compliment, and one other comment perhaps intended to be a compliment.
Let's start with the odd one. I was at Rachel's party (as mentioned in previous blog) Friday night, having fun, dancing. I'm dancing with this guy, and it's probably like 2:30 or 3 am..and everybody's a little out of it/tired/perhaps intoxicated. After a couple songs, or maybe it was even during a song, he looks at me and says "You're hott...in a weird way"
Umm..what? Thank you? I just took it as a compliment for the most part. I pretty much have it figured out. You see, I have short hair. This confuses most guys, as they equate long flowing hair with femininity and sensuality. Take that out of the picture and it can be disorienting. I understand. If I had my long hair again, it wouldn't be in a "weird" way it would be straight up hot. Like Rihanna. We all know she's hot or sexy or whatever you'd like to call it, but you can't help but notice her short hair. She doesn't fit in with the prototype of "hot woman", so there's something off about her. Classified as weird. but still hot.
Second, there's a latte counter at the market underneath the building I work at, which is where all my coworkers, myself included, get coffee. Two gay guys pretty much run the show down there. They're ALWAYS there makin lattes and breves and whatnot. My co worker Lucky is buddy-buddy with everyone down there and she let me in on a little secret the other day.
"You know Michael downstairs at the coffee counter? He thinks you are so gorgeous. He says you're his ideal wife..he's obviously gay, but you know what he means"
Awesome!
Once again, I think with this short hair it's easier for me to fly under the radar with straight guys. Again, they need the long hair (usually) to think pretty but gay guys don't need that. They get it. Awesome compliment right? Cuz we all know gay guys have impecable taste.
Which brings me to my main point! These two comments have lead me to believe that I have reached Victoria Beckham "Posh" Status! She's always saying how she doesnt have any kind of a straight-male following. On the other hand, she says gay guys LOVE her. And she's a "girl's girl". Gay guys love her fashion and hair and vibe..and so do girls. Cuz they get it.
So these comments point to exactly that Posh Status. Straight guys don't quite get it.. but gay guys and girls do.
Girls are always telling me how fab my hair is or style or whatever. And a gay guy just proclaimed me as his ideal wife. It's obvious. Posh Status Acheived.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Update:

Hello! I am back from Cali and i had a fantastic time indeed! Let me give some highlights of the trip and whats been going down since then:
Went to speedway..(AKA motorcycle racing on a dirt track & the bikes have no brakes) twice, went to the beach twice, saw Stepbrothers (i dont recommend seeing this with your 79 year old Grandma), went to Malibu, bought some cool clothes on Ventura Blvd, went to Beverly Hills (did NOT buy anything$$$), and pretty much lounged in the pool whenever we werent out and about. And god it was like a restaurant tour down there..if i was bored I'd write down the names od all the resaturants we went to but thats too much work. Just know thres a whole repertoire. I hope i am using that correctly..

Now onto the present! I was finally reunited with Eva and Bambi and we are planning hella fun shit! First, i just borrowed some ghetto boy clothes from my friend kevin and me and bambi r gonna dres up, do a photoshoot and possibly and music video. I've wanted to do this ever since I saw Natasha as a thug on ANTM. hell yeah. Second, we were getting really excited about dressin up for Halloween but I was torn between two costumes. Exhibit A: pop culture reference- Bambi and I would be Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson. I'm SamRo! already bought the key fedora. the rest is easy. full-on dyke mode. OR Exhibit B: the Halloween cliche, Sexy Cop. I was torn. Choose one? Have two back-to-back parties? And then we're like, hey Lil wayne's B day is right before school starts, we must throw a party!! and then we got smart and were like..a CELEBRITY -themed party! and the Gayelles are invited! So its settled. SamRo at Wayne's bash, Cop on Halloween. Oh, AND Bambi's roommate Chantal is having a 21st B day party..lingerie party! thats coming up so I am excited to dress up for everything.


Totally switching gears from that excitment, I am in kind of a funk! I know it doesnt seem like it considering what you just read, but thats my only excitement right now! Its always hard coming back from cali. You get used to going out to eat 2 timea a day and loafing around. makies coming back to the real world of work and responsibility SUCK. Last time when i got back i had one of my worst meltdowns. and now im just apathetic. Yesterday! its like i was stressed yet numb the whole day ! Im currently thinking i dont wanna be a hairdresser anymore. But thats what i felt last time so i cant trust myself. im just crazy. But last night I did hang out with kevin and it was fun.
So this is my last day off for a while. I'll be working and babysitting tomorow and the next day. then working . then working. then a party on friday. Ahh sorry this is like my worst-written blog yet. Im lazy i guess im not trying hard to make it entertaining as much as informative. oh well

(Editors note- we totally did ALL of those dress up ideas..)

ghetto boys:
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for the video, youtube "ghetto boys"

Lindsay and SamRo
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Sexy Cop:
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Saturday, July 26, 2008

Where's the excitement??

I'm leaving for Cali in like 3 days. This trip is what I'd daydream about in the dead of winter in my fashion class. As it was snowing or raining outside, I'd fantasize about my summer trip to Cali..floating on of those lounge things in the pool..going to the beach, getting man-handled by the waves..eating at the best restaurants every night. And thats what its gonna be like. In 3 days. ..so why am i not more excited???
This is so weird..thats the kindof thing I LIVE for. I HATE the Winter and the cold and rain and darkness. HATE HATE HATE. And this vacay means NO work for 2 weeks! Wake up Melissa and get excited!!
Maybe its because I'm pretty content here right now. it's summer here too, afterall. And a pretty decent one for Seattle I might add. A late start but at least it hasnt rained in like 22 days. I'm really enjoying my summer here. I'm working like 25 hours a week which is PERFECT cuz i still have hella freetime but at the same time i dont have too much so that im bored.
I'm also still buzzing from the excitement of Sunday's concert. I'm absolutely obsessed over lil wayne. On my days off, I spend hours on the computer, watchin youtube videos of him. Pussy Monster. interviews. old footage. music videos. its insane. It's consuming me. And I dont want to be pulled out of this Lil Wayne zone. I cant upload any new music to my ipod cuz my itunes thing on the comp. got deleted..i could bring the CDs but theres no CD player in my room down there and I wouldn't wanna play it in the common area since its a bit explicit.
ANyways, I dont know where im going with this. It's just mindless rambling.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

It's depressing

It's depressing when, here we are, July 24 (ish?) and stores are already talkin bout "back to school" specials. It's disgusting. I know some colleges go back hella early cuz they get out hella early...but still. Why do stores have to jump the gun on everything. Target puts their bathing suits out in February (which i dont mind as much..since its something to look foreward to, even if you wont be wearing the swimsuit for another 4+ months) and Macy's puts their damn Christmas decorations up before Thanksgiving has even passed. PS- as depressing as this back to school shit is, i find comfort in the fact that the Christmas season is still far away..expect an angry blog on that topic as it gets closer..
What was I saying? Oh yeah, back to school. I'm gonna be on vacay for two weeks coming up so im trying to get this buying textbooks thing outta the way..even tho i dont even go back to school till LATE september. Its still reminds me that I'll be going back. to SPU.
I was sad to go, it's true. In June, packing up and leaving my ideal dorm room was sad..but i dont have that room this next year so whats there to look foreward to? Perhaps I'll meet some fun people..but since its SPU thats a big maybe.
SPU is gay. It's gay..yet, at the same time, homophobic. Is that even possible, you ask? Yes, it is indeed and if you'd like to experience this paradox, attend SPU for a quarter.
Most students there belong in a convent. I don't want to go off on this now..I've blogged about it previously on myspace..but they're just clueless and naive and intolerant. and hella nerdy. NARNIA IS GAY. LORD OF THE RINGS IS GAY. and so is harry potter and all that other shit. except they probably dont even like harry potter cuz its "evil witch craft".

Monday, July 21, 2008

Concert of the Year (And it's not Kanye)

Sooo yesterday I went to Summer Jam, the annual summer concert put on by Seattle's rap radio station. And IT WAS INCREDIBLE. Just amazing.
Because I'm the shit at winning things off the radio, I won passes to the backstage BBQ before the show. Of course, I went with my friend and partner in crime Rachel (Bambi). We LOVE Lil Wayne and we said once we first got into his music, that no question, if he ever came to Seattle or anywhere near, we'd have to go..though it was highly unlikely. .. but in May it was announced he's be headlining Summer Jam 2008! ..with Ray J, Bow Wow, T-Pain and The Game.
We got to the venue early (like 11:10) to check in for the BBQ. After some confusion about which line we needed to be in to get in early..we made it in. Got escorted backstage for the food..chilled a while. Ray J made an appearance and we got autographs and pictures. Pretty exciting.
That was about it for the BBQ so we found our seats and waited hella long for the show to get started an hour late. Ray J opened, break, then Bow Wow, then T-Pain joined him onstage..exit Bow Wow..more T-Pain (he has hella hits..did you know?) break. Enter Game. I am suprised by how much I enjoyed his set. He's feuding with 50 and G-Unit so he obviously did some trash talking about how the G unit guys are all screwing eachother..50 hasnt had a girl since Vivica Fox..LLoyd Banks can suck my dick..Yayo can suck my dick..and so forth. I actually got some of it on video. So he did Hate it or Love it and This is How we Do..doing both his and 50's parts. That new one he has with Keyshia Cole..and some song like, If you look into my eyes/you'll see im a gangsta till the day I die..something something.. WESTSIIIDE.. I liked it. He couldnt go on without "his weed, man" after a song so he goes and smokes onstage! freaking crazy. and then! He gets a bottle of Grey Goose Vodka, puts his head back, bottle up, and downs the ENTIRE thing. no stopping till it was empty. Insanity i tell you!
After The Game theres maybe 40 more minutes of waiting for Lil Wayne to arrive..for the first time in Summer Jam history, they said, an artist had to be escorted by police to the venue. So, after much screaming and chanting and anticipation..the stage gets all smokey and Wayne emerges! The crowd goes crazy. Oh my God. He's wearing a black Adidas tracksuit and a black hat, dreads back..hella sexy. He opens with Money on my Mind..did alot of Carter II songs. he did Dboy next, Fireman..yess! He'd stop between his songs to say stuff..early on he's like, I gotta get three things off my chest, the first one is, I believe in God. Do you? (crowd cheers) The second is, I'm nothing without you, so clap for what you created (crowd roars) The third thing is...I'm nothing without you (crowd roars). He did some older stuff, he played the electric guitar for one of his songs.He also said he's nothing without his DJ before proceding to "Go DJ" (editors note: thats a differece between him and Kanye, they both love to toot their own horn and rap about how great they are..but with Wayne he actually acknowedges those who've helped him get where he is and make him great) He did Duffle Bag Boy. Removes jacket.
And then..the best part of the show he gets helllla freaky! Keeps rappin about how he loves eating pussy..when and how he does it and so on..I wont get into the graphic details because who knows might be reading this..but know that it was an orgasmic experience for both Rachel and myself.
That went on for probably 6 minutes untill he broke into A Milli. Crowd goes crazy. Please don't shoot me down. Removes shirt. HOT BODY. omg..Got Money (interestingly, without T-Pain). Mrs. Officer. Lollipop.
He did much more than what I've said but his set is kind of a blur I can't recall everything.
It finally did end though, and I swear he was looking at me during the last minute.. Someone brought him out a robe and he walked off stage.
We got to the car surpisingly fast considering there were 20,000 others rushing out at the same time. Leaving the lot though probably took 45 minutes or more cuz this White River Amphitheater is hella in the boonies and there's a single-lane highway to leave. But our time wating in the car was well-spent as we disected the performance and his dirty-talk. We made up little scenarios, like what if he brought us back stage and..(you know where this goes). It's noteworthy that our physical states at this point were quite odd. We had been at the venue for over 12 hours, so we were understandably tired..but our minds were just so stimilated..we were really alert but our bodies couldnt keep up. finally got out. drove home. the end. Best Concert Everrr

Sunday, June 22, 2008

You call that a baby bump?

Nicole's baby bump is pathetic. She was pregnant at the Oscars this year and it was earlier on, obviosuly, so it was understandably not that big. But SHIT that was 3 or 4 months ago! And she was "out" then so you know she was at least 4 months along. So shes gotta be 7 or 8 months now and that thing is barely visible! Shes on the cover of Vogue right now and being 8 months along, so it should be some ethereal, glowing, plump, pregnent picture but you still can barely even see the thing! She wearing some dark-patterned dress and if you were clueless and somehow didnt KNOW shes preggers, it MIGHT just escape you. really. hella wimpy