Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Shoulda Woulda Coulda

If you're familiar with, you know that michael k. has a feature called "dumb bitch of the day". and today, i hereby nominate myself.

You see, I say the things i shouldnt say and dont say the things i should say. I was in factoria for maybe 2 hours today and missed coutless opportunities to say the right things.

Number one, I was at Kits camera (why can't they just do what i need them to do??) and i'm not looking too polished. No make up except for this bright lipstick..and my fedora hat on to cover my crazy hair. And theres these two midle aged-looking, italian guys there. One of them liked my hat and he told me so.I tanked him, left the store and got into my car. The guys walked towards their BMW which was parked beside me, and the better looking one asks me out to lunch. I told him i was running errands and busy that afternoon, which was true. But common! Live a little! God I am so boring. This situation could have been major sugar daddy potential. At the very least I could have gotten a free lunch. So in short I said no. I should have said YES!

Number two- I went to eat then, BY MYSELF. I'm very independent. I insist on shopping by myself but I'm very uncomfortable eating by myself. If i'm out and about that is. I would have liked to find a small table in the corner, but seating was limited so I had to take a table by this group of four mexican guys (presumably my age or a bit older). As I'd get up to get food or more napkins or a refill, I had to pass their table every time and EVERY time, all four of them would be obnoxiously staring at me. Even if i was to the side of them, all four of their faces would be turned, looking my way. I already felt self concious enough, eating by myself and all, so by the 3rd time I had to see them all gawking at me, I got really mad and decided that as I was returning to my seat, I was gonna walk by them and stop and be like, do you wanna take a picture of me or what?? So maybe they'd realize their rude attention was not appreciated. But shoulda woulda coulda!! By the time I walked back to my seat they'd left! A relief..but damn it. I should have told them off earlier!

And three, as im leaving, I run into this stupid girl from high school that also went to my beauty school, Shoshana. And she's tagging along with her even more socially-retarded friend Mai. or Maya or however you say her damn name. She went to high school with me too. Even though I think i'm all incognito with my hat, it seems to attract attention instead of divert it and they see me. I give the " Oh heeyyyy!" and compliment her hair. I wish I wouldnt have though. She's hella stupid and doesnt even say thank you, just that she needs to rush off to work cuz she starts in 2 minutes. " I work at REGIS now!!, I get THRITY DOLLARS for my haircuts!" I'm walking away as she says this and I give the "woo hoo" hands with a slight eye roll and get back to my car. Who the hell does that? You see someone you used to know and they compliment you and you dont say thank you and throw out a random brag about how much money you make? Thats about as socially retarded as it gets. So as im driving home still so mad about all these situations i am botching, I realize what I should have said! Rewind:

" I work at REGIS now!!, I get THRITY DOLLARS for my haircuts!"
Me- "WOW! How does it feel to be underqualified??"

Girl! I know where you went to beauty school! I went there too, remember? A fresh bellevue beauty school graduate is in no way qualified to ask 30 dollars for their haircuts and even more for color. That is actually even more dangerous since BBS graduates are taught so little about color. So you're charging 30 dollars for your haircuts. Thats good for you. Good, lucky, fortunate..but lucky and fortunate do not equal qualified.

God why can't I think of these things in the moment.

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