Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Maxim's Hot 100

Ughh i just had to post a rant on here about this bullshit list. Vh1 always does a special on it, counting down maxim's hot-list girls and profiling them. Its hard for me to watch because i can't stand these shows and people praising these girls for being so hot when they're fug as hell!

Noteworthy rankings:

I'll start at number 50 cuz anything higher than that is irrelevent. EXCEPT. Michelle Obama placed at 93 and that's bullshit. I have to mention this. Let's see, I'll give credit where credit is due. She's got nice arms. She's smart. She dresses well. That doesn't make you HOT. and don't even try to give me that "her confidence makes her sexy" shit. This is MAXIM-standard hottness. You have to realize the rankings scale. Maxim hot is like, boner-inducing hotness. Girls you would actually SEE featured in Maxim. Michelle Obama would not be that.

How is Beyonce only number 52?? These lists kind of go by relevence too, but both she and Britney had albums and tours this past year and Britney's down at number 17. I love Britney and I'm glad she's down there but Beyonce should not be trailing so far behind. Single Ladies anyone?? She works the hips.

Taylor Swift at 50. HA! No one is creaming their panties for Taylor Swift, sorry.

I take issue with this. Kim Kardashian at 53 and Nicole Scherzinger at 46. WTF! Nicole Scherzinger is the POOR MAN's Kim K! If this was my list, Kim would be NUMBER ONE.

FERGIE at 45?? Maybe her body! But with that face, no.

Scarlett Johanson at 34? Blasphemy! She's got it going ON! Most sensual lips EVER. She has Kim beat here. And the boobies, and hips and her beautiful blonde hair..mm.. I was a ScarJo hater untill I saw Match Point and fell in LOVE. She's bomb! common! at least in the teens range..

Hilary Duff at 31? NO ONE thinks she's hotter than ScarJo.

Penelope Cruz at 30. ..Yes that is about right.

..but no Vanessa Hudgens does NOT beat Penelope. No way. (she's at 27)

Angelina at 26..she needs to be a little lower. She's hot AND she'll kick your ass!

Juliane Hough one lower at 25. She should def. be lower cuz she's got the dancer hard body and she knows how to MOVE it. And the beautiful face and blonde hair. She's gorgeous!

Enemy number 1 Eva Mendes at 24. NO NO NO! She looks like a man! Not one of her feautres are good! squinty eyes, huge mannish nose..ugh. always talking about her "Latina curves"! ha! what curves bitch!?? ScarJo and Kim have curves. you do not.

Blohan at 23?? Maybe circa 2004.

You prolly don't know who "Moon Bloodgood" is, but she's at number 20 and she's fugly as hell!

Brit Brit at 17!

Leighton Meester at 12? That makes me laugh. She shouldnt even be on this list.

Rihanna at 8. yes.

Adriana Lima at 7. yes.

Mila Kunis at 5. YES. she's pretty...

Bar Rafaeli at 3. No. Your name is Bar.

Megan Fox- number 2. Fuckin sex-pot!

Olivia Wilde at number 1. Fail. I'd have way more respect for this list if they put Megan Fox at 1, it's at least plausible.

this is what the top 10 should be

10. Angelina
9. Julianna Hough
8. ?
7. Armani (stripper)
6. Beyonce (moslty cuz her body and moves)
5. Adriana Lima

4. Mila Kunis

3. Scarlett Johansson

2. Megan Fox

1. Kim Kardashian

for your viewing pleasure, not one but three kim kardashians